Why are you wasting everybody’s time?
You’ll likely be asking this to yourself at some point. Look. For. The. Answers.
No not here..
Maybe try down the back of the settee. The place where all the pens and biscuit crumbs congregate. The pens that you’d probably pronounced out loud at some point ‘where are all the pens??’ Without realising that it was you in fact that lost them all. You just never knew it..
The pens knew it though. Of all inanimate objects the mighty sword destroying pen knows (note.. if the pen is mightier than the sword why was a sword shoved in a stone as a monarch defining test and not a pen?) The average pen will have annual, biannual and monthly meetings with other writing implements on the best way to distribute themselves around the average human dwelling domicile.
The lead pen – as part of some anarchist social gathering – will decide upon how best to be hidden. The aforementioned settee is a favourite. Providing warmth, food and social intercourse with pencils and such. A weekly lottery-esque draw would be made to put forward the unfortunate pen that would have its life laid down in the name of leaking in your favourite jacket pocket. Whereupon you’ll only discover such happenings when you rummage around said pocket for some change before touching a treasured white shirt sleeve of a long lost friend…at a funeral.
Still reading? Only you know why. Answers may still be coming..
It’s possibly important that we mention pens and answers in the same pointless diatribe. Most answers to stuff and things that we currently know and love will have been written using a pen. Or similar writing implement. Hold out hope that the future of these writings may actually be some use to some human somewhere. Someplace. Doubt it though…